On-Off Moments’ Short Note
Lately, I have a chance to spend so much times reading, reflecting, and thinking alone. And, it’s such a bliss to rearrange the direction when I feel quite lost.
At least I have taken around three months being blank on several major aspects of my life in general, but I can say it’s both a gift and remorse that time could give me. Noticing that I have rendered my mind into complete empty except for the mundane stuff makes me realize that it’s okay to once have your “On-Off” moments in this lifetime.
Today, I bumped into Nam Ji Hyun and Jeon Yeo Been’s —Korean Actresses, LOL— interviews that are too endearing to not to share and jotted down as my regular reminder here. This note is mainly inspired by those interview transcripts which are greatly align to the the biggest concern I had during my “cave time”. Thinking maybe other people can also learn from it, I decided wholeheartedly to share, which is a very rare thing I do, you know “share”.
First, I learn and allow myself to be a Free Soul —something I have been thinking about a lot these days — but, at the same time, I should be able to draw the boundaries among many identities that ineluctably attached to me. By listening my inner voice instead of solely depend on background noises outward, I can feel freer instead of feeling lost or anything. I feel like I can fill my life with my favorite things. I need to feel free and accept my OWN way to go.
Sometimes, the boundary between my identities gets really blurry. But, the only one who can keep that boundary line is MYSELF. There’s my working life, my personal life, my student life. So if I say my job, I should know how I treat it, and if I say my family and friends, I should know how to treat them, too.
I think I need to distinguish them well.
The stuff that I like and the stuff that I don’t.
What I’m good at and what I need to develop.
What I can share with others and what I can’t.
I think it’s important for me to distinguish and learn these kinds of things, step by step as this tiny being.
Drawing a distinct line between other identities and real myself.
I myself put out my own boundary.
So, dear me, just put out those small steps to learn those limits and learn which things, memories, emotions, and people I want to keep tightly in my life. Even there are moments I feel down and hurtful, just embrace them and relieve them all.
In life, there will be sad moments but that doesn’t mean we just wallow in it. On other days, you may still sadness even with clear and sunny weather. Even in sadness, when we look up and see beautiful sky, we find happiness.
It’s okay to feel —which personally, is uneasy to do— all the emotions, release and let them float away. They may get back to me or they may not. Either one is fine.
